H is for Hawk follows Macdonald’s journey through grieving their father after he suddenly passed away. While moving through their day-to-day motions with this new heaviness in their life, Macdonald remembers a book they read in their childhood, The Goshawk, by T.S. White, and picks it up. This spurs on the choice to get a goshawk of their own (as a practiced falconer, this wasn’t too wild of an idea), and soon Macdonald obtains little Mable, a surprisingly calm, young goshawk. H is for Hawk showcases the contrast between the Goshawk and White’s life with Macdonald’s, and lets readers peek into grief, raising a young goshawk, and letting oneself go a little wild.

I’m going to be 100% honest here. H is for Hawk is a book that I didn’t choose for myself. I was taking a course on research for writers, and it was required reading. “Required” in this case meant “I bought it, didn’t read it, and still passed the class with a good grade.” (Don’t tell my prof that.) Because I bought the book, I felt obligated to read it—and I’m glad I did!

Oddly enough, I didn’t realize this was a memoir until about 30% of the way through the book. In my defence, I don’t read memoir or CNF very often—only the essays found in some literary journals. This piece was moving. I found myself tearing up at times, smiling at others, and just allowing myself to get absorbed into the book. I won’t go on about my own grief and the family members I’ve previously lost, we all have someone we grieve, but I will just say that I think reading this memoir helped settle some of my own emotions, even if I wasn’t able to obtain a hawk of my own to continue the trend outlined in this book.

First and foremost, I think it goes without saying that being critical towards the content within a memoir isn’t very helpful—it’s a true story, there’s nothing that could have been written differently about Macdonald’s life, because it’s their life. With that being said, the pacing, the prose, and the interjections about T.S. White made this book feel less like a memoir and more like a literary fiction novel. I enjoyed the view into The Goshawk and other parts of T.S. White’s life (I now plan on reading The Goshawk). I think using it, a book that Macdonald felt strongly about in their childhood, as a way to measure White’s life against Macdonald’s created healthy detours into the history of goshawks and Macdonald’s journey into falconry and hawking. I think this memoir might have felt a little less balanced without it.

I don’t think there is anything I disliked about H is for Hawk… other than the disappointment that it’ll be impossible to convince my partner to let me learn falconry and get a hawk of my own. Also the disappointment that any hawk or falcon I attempted to train would most likely try to eat my 17-year-old rodent.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is going through a tough time. Or just anyone who feels a bit of daily sadness and wants the catharsis of being sad with someone. Or anyone who is looking to get themselves a goshawk—I can’t say whether or not this is a good book for someone learning falconry, but maybe it stands as a reminder that even the pros can make mistakes when they’re dealing with bigger things in their life.